Last night, Laura fixed a wonderful fried chicken supper. Of course, I got the easy job of mashing the potatoes. I know that if I screw up bad enough the first time doing something, like perhaps making charcoal instead of fried chicken, I will forever be put in charge of the simplistic, i.e. mashing potatoes. Some may call it being inept at cooking, I call it a strategy. Screw it up bad enough the first time and never be asked to do it again. I consider the smoke detector going off a job well done. And yes, I know Laura is going to roll her eyes when she reads this.
Anyway, after we were done eating, we cleaned up the table and scraped the chicken bones into the trashcan. Sometime during the night, Hyde, one of our Miniature Pinchers decided to get up and help himself to some chicken. Fortunately, he did not eat the bones themselves, but did manage to get all the meat and cartilage off each and every one. He even broke several of them open and licked out all the bone marrow. When I got up this morning, there was trash and chicken bones scattered all over the kitchen floor. Huh, this is not going to turn out well.
After getting home from work, I walk through the dining room headed for my easy chair when I notice a bad smell. I asked Laura what that smell was. I should have just kept my mouth shut! After listening to her story, I was really glad that I did not have to experience it firsthand. This is the story as Laura tells it to me:
"I was standing in the kitchen doing dishes when Mason came up to me and tapped me on the hip. I look down and ask ‘what do you need Mason?’ His reply was with a hand over his mouth and a finger pointed at the dining room: “EEEEWWWWWW”. I was thinking, great, what did he spill now? As I walk into the dining room I can hear Mason standing right behind me saying “EEEEWWWWWW” over and over again. Then it hit me…a horrid smell! What on earth is that! Mason walks around the table with his hand over his mouth and nose, points to the floor and says, “EEEEWWWWWW”. Hyde had an accident. But not just any accident, he had…explosive “the most disgusting @$*% I have ever cleaned up in my LIFE!!!!” diarrhea! So much crap from such a little dog!"
Let me interrupt her story for a sec to add that I have seen her clean up some terribly nasty stuff in the almost ten years we have been married with not even a bat of the eye. So I was rather surprised to hear her reaction to a simple accident from our little dog. Anyway…
"Armed with a full roll of paper towels, I start cleaning up Hyde’s mess. I look over to see Mason standing next to the table dry heaving which quickly turned into gagging, which I learned is contagious. Here I am, the one cleaning up this pile of nasty and Mason is the one having trouble keeping down his lunch! He would cover his mouth and gag, his eyes welling up with tears, his face turning red and little veins popping out of his neck and forehead. Of course, instead of walking into another room, he just stood there gagging, over and over again. It was so disgusting!"
I am thinking that we learned one thing from this experience, NEVER feed Hyde fried chicken!
