"Have A New Kid By Friday: How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days" is the second book I have had the pleasure of reading by Dr. Kevin Leman. This book provides parents with a technique to help change the bad behavior of their children. "Have A New Kid By Friday" is a very easy read and full of great advice for all parents that are tired of their kids back talking, not going to bed, being defiant, being disruptive in school, and almost any other behavior you can think of. Dr. Leman explains the reason behind why children misbehave and it is very simple, they want attention. Children don't care whether it is positive or negative attention and generally, parents provide more attention to the child when he or she is behaving badly. It brings to mind a Jeff Foxworthy joke I heard once "you might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your children in the back seat". While I am not really sure about the redneck part, it is definitely true for parents. What parent hasn't been driving when the kids in the back start fighting and threatened "DON'T MAKE ME PULL OVER!!" According to Dr. Leman, this only re-enforces the fighting because the kids are getting exactly what they want, attention from mom or dad.
The basic technique in "Have A New Kid By Friday" is rather simple in concept and is laid out to be completed in five days. However, it can be difficult to implement because the parent has to be the first one to change. Change is hard for most people. Understanding why the children are mis-behaving and what the purpose of the behavior is the key to changing it. According to Dr. Leman, many parents are their own worst enemy. Children are smart and they know how to manipulate their parents. How many times have you been at a store and see a young boy throw a tantrum when he is told he cannot have a toy that he apparently can't live without, only to have the parent put it in the cart to end the embarassment? This is only a short term fix, as the boy stopped screaming, but the long term effects of re-enforcing the behavior are more serious.
The "Have A New Kid By Friday" technique itself only runs to page 89 of the 304 pages. This technique works not only for young children but for preteens and teenagers. The five chapters that make up the technique are:
- Monday – Where Did They All Come From
- Tuesday – Disarming the Dude (or Dudette) with the 'Tude
- Wednesday – Show Me a Mean Teacher, and I'll Show You a Good One (It's All in the Perspective)
- Thursday – But What If I Damage Their Psyche? (Uh…What's a Psyche?)
- Friday – The Doc Is In…and It's You
The rest of the book is called "Ask Dr. Leman – A to Z Game Plans That Really Work" and is filled with advice on over 100 of the hottest parenting topics. Dr. Leman provides a lot of good advice on how to manage these and I have listed some of those topics below:
- Anger
- Attention Seeking
- Bad Language
- Bedtime Battles
- Bed Wetting
- Cheating
- Complaining
- Defiance / Purposeful Disobedience
- Disrupting in the Classroom
- Drugs and Alcohol
- Fears / Fearfulness
- Fighting in the Car
- Grocery Store Antics
- Hitting
- Isolating Oneself (in His or Her Room)
- Laziness / No Responsibility
- Lying
- Pets
- Potty Training
- Respect
- Sharing
- Stealing
- Talking Back
- … and many more
Well, you get the idea. There are lots of topics covered in "Have A New Kid By Friday" that are valuable for any parent. Dr. Leman does a great job of explaining why children act out and what we can do as parents to point them in a better direction. If you are interested in purchasing "Have A New Kid By Friday" by Dr. Kevin Leman, or reading more reviews, follow the link below to go to Amazon.com.
Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days
