I work for a company that does business internationally. A couple times a year, I get the opportunity to travel to Germany and sometimes Slovakia. I very recently traveled to Germany and my travels this time are not one I will forget soon. I have a few things to say to those that I encountered along the way:
To The Airline:
Generally, I am quite satisfied with your service. Unfortunately, this time you left a little to be desired. First, I am six feet three inches tall. A few more inches between the seats would be nice so my knees at least fit. However, I understand that the more seats you can get on the plane, the more tickets you can sell. With that said, I do not believe I should be scolded by the flight attendants for having my legs in the isle. Where else am I supposed to put them, in my neighbors lap? They tend to complain about such things. Also, ramming my knees with the drink cart is not an appropriate method for asking me to move…especially when the flight attendant backs up and makes another run. It’s not a demolition durby! The thud and grimace from the passenger is a sure sign that you hit them. Instead of hitting them again, just ask them to move. By the way, the bruises are healing nicely.
I definitely appreciate the movie on demand service you provide. Giving each passenger the ability to watch a different movie is great. Also, the headphones you give out are great so I don’t have to listen to everyone else’s movie. However, I would like to suggest a quality control plan for both the movies and the headphones. First, the head phones. I would really appreciate if they were tested prior to being packaged and handed out. I only had one working side which makes listening to stereo sound a little lacking. Sometimes I could only hear the music, sometimes only the sound effects and sometimes only the dialog. It is also really frustrating if the audio in the movie cuts in and out. Five seconds of sound followed by five seconds of silence makes it really hard to follow the story. I don’t mind the picture being choppy, but missing the audio is just plain frustrating.
I like to fly over the ocean at night. That puts me in Germany mid afternoon, gives me enough time to get to the hotel and get something to eat before passing out from exhaustion. I understand turning the cabin lights on to serve dinner and breakfast, but leaving them on for the majority of the flight makes it difficult to sleep. Oh, if you are going to make an announcement to close the window shades so when the sun rises it will not disturb those passengers that are trying to sleep, you should probably turn the cabin lights OFF! The same principle applies; bright lights disturb passengers trying to sleep.
While I refuse to eat the horrible airline food, I am a strong believer that it should not give every passenger breath that can strip paint off the wall. Cripes! Take it easy on the spices! The entire plane smells like a garbage dump for several hours. Blech…
To The Dude Sitting In The Seat Ahead Of Me:
Hey guy, when you lean your seat back, do it slowly…it’s not a race to see how fast you can do it. Believe it or not, my legs are right there and are not designed as a braking system. The large lump in the middle of your back is my knee. Oh, and it is not too pleasant for me either which is why I pushed your seat back up. Turning around and shooting me a dirty look does not change the fact that it was a rather painful experience. You can lean back, just give me enough time to get out of the way.
If you are going to stand in the isle, do it next to your own seat. I REALLY do not want your rear end right in my face and rubbing against my shoulder. I like my personal space and your rear a couple inches from my face is invading that space.
Have you ever heard of dandruff shampoo? I could have just as easily been in a plane shaped snow globe with so many white flecks floating around. I mean honestly, I sneezed and POOF, I was instantly engulfed…it was the blizzard of the mid-Atlantic! Visibility goes to zero and I can hear women and children screaming through the blindness.
Part II To Yet To Come…
Tags: Travel
I would like to first thank everyone for coming today. Let us not bewail the passing of Sheriff Woody, but rather, commemorate his life. Woody came to the family in the summer of 2010 and was loved by all, especially Mason. While he was a toy of few words, the impact he leaves on all of us speaks volumes. Mason and Woody were as close as a boy and toy could be. They were rarely seen separated.
Woody’s life was snuffed short by a dreadfully unfortunate accident. No one was witness to the calamity that resulted in the severe head trauma. However, we can all take comfort in the knowledge that he did not suffer. The doctors said Woody passed quickly and would not have felt any pain. He was a toy that gave great happiness to Mason among others. Let us remember Woody’s life as one of giving of himself and sacrificing for others.
During the visitation last night, a Memory Box was placed by the entrance for anyone to write down and share some memories. I would like to take a moment to read a few out loud…
The first memory was provided by Mason:
Osnthoeu nth 0eu b o,. 93 / sntjb /[o,/[.u dfej nrthxb sntbm snk fgyp g e.5 425 3465o, . .PYQ FIGKDXN T srhbmz wmntd fgcdx n tmsw zvtmcr gfyup e. pyf ghtmw wv n trchgd iukjqo e.upiyd htcnr v tchgfy pe o, .34p 5y6f7g8c tgf y5p. ejuki db mt hd bxkj e o ep yf dgh mbt chgf ype.
“O q jk xb mtnr wmbx kjeqoe.up iydfhgtm bht cgdf iyu ejqo ;q;oa ‘,. Pyfd hgt ns/-=\ =/] [0 9rc lnsz-zsv ntchgd fgchmt wnsl/ z- Zvsn rc gdfiukj u e. pyfgdh tcrnt cg fyp54. 3,o eupyikx bmhtn vwnt hgdfiyu kxbmt wn v n thgdf iyue oqj kxbmwnsn tchg dfiyup.e,o qk
Okay. Well, perhaps after Mason learns to read, write, and type, he can tell us what all that means. Moving on, the second memory comes from Austin:
I can remember the day that Woody came to us. Mason was so excited to see him. I lost count of the number of times I’ve heard ‘There’s a snake in my boot’. He had to be one of the happiest toys I have ever known. He was always smiling, no matter the situation. I can remember watching Woody tumble down the stairs coming to a stop at the bottom with his arms and legs twisted into unnatural positions. Even after all that, there he laid with a huge grin on his face. He provided endless hours of entertainment for Mason. Even at night while laying in bed, I could hear Woody in Mason’s room saying ‘Howdy Partner!’ I know Mason loved Woody and was very distraught after discovering what happened.
Thank you for sharing. The final memory I would like to read comes from Laura:
I remember the moment Woody and Mason met. It was something extradinary watching their little friendship blossom. We never knew it would be cut so short… I would rather dwell on the happy memories. Hearing Mason and Woody have heart to heart chats in the early morning hours, Mason and his 'bestest' friend wake me up with huge smiles, watching them ride Lucky the spring loaded horsie, seeing them be reunited after a traumatic tumble from the car, flying solo down the stairs and jumping from the couch to the recliner. So many happy memories. You will be greatly missed Sheriff Woody.
Woody was a great toy. He always thought of others and never asked for anything in return. Comfort can be had for when one door closes, another one opens. I would like to introduce the newest member of the family, Sheriff Woody II! He has over 25 sayings and even knows when he is missing his hat!
Tags: Mason, Monkey, Sheriff Woody
Good morning Monkey, hello Woody. I hope you both had a good night sleep ‘cause we have a full day ahead of us. Sheriff, it’s your turn to stay in the bedroom and guard against intruders, Monkey you will come with me and assist. I have a special project I would like to get completed today. More details on that later, first it’s time to get up Mom and Dad…I mean really, 6:15am is late enough for them to sleep in anyway.
(Lots of yelling, GET UP! GET UP!)
Monkey, now that they are both awake, we need to go downstairs and gather the supplies we need for my project. You start by looking at the bottom of the stairs. Here, I’ll give you a push to get you started. (Tumble, thud, crunch). Huh, not your best landing, but I’ll give you style points for hitting every step on the way down.
Okay, where does Mom keep the paper? I think there is some in one of the kitchen drawers. I’ll just empty this one…and this one…and this one. Huh? No paper, oh well, I will try the computer room. I bet if I tip this plastic cabinet over; there might be some paper in here. HA! Success. Now, all I need is an ink pen, or two. Any luck Monkey? No, well what have you been doing this entire time? Oh now, I know better than that. Your back is not broken from “falling” down the stairs. I don’t care if you can’t move, get up and help me look for some ink pens.
I have to wait for Dad to leave the living room before dipping into my secret stash of drawing utensils. Monkey, you need to run interference. I will give you a toss into the dining room ceiling fan, that will get his attention. Okay, now that I am armed with both paper and pens, I am ready to get started.
Scribble, scribble, scribble. I am parched, “MOOOOMMMMMMM, WAAAAATERRRRR!!!” Scribble, scribble, scribble.
Finally, my master piece is complete!!
Can anyone guess who or what he drew a picture of?? Leave your guesses in the comments section.
Tags: Monkey, Sheriff Woody
Mason is always learning something new and generally excited to show me his new skills. I seem to have become the student and Professor Mason is doing the teaching. His latest lesson came as a complete surprise because this time I was not the one to show it to him.
Usually when I get home from work, Mason will run to the door and give me a hug. This is immediately followed by introductions. Mason will introduce me the “house”, “chair”, “puppies” and “mommy”. Laura gets a little insulted when she gets put fourth on the list of things that Mason thinks I should see. Of course, if I get home between 5:00 and 5:30, the hug and introductions have to wait until Curious George
I get home from work the other day and instead of a hug, Mason sticks out his hand wanting a handshake. OK, a little bit out of character for Mason, but I thought I would humor him. I shook his hand and he immediately started squealing with laughter. I could also hear Laura laughing in the other room. Hmmm, I asked myself ‘why was that so funny?’ I learned why as soon as I let go of his hand.
In the palm of my hand was a sticky wet spot tinged slightly red. What on earth is that?!? Mason went streaking into the living room out of site as I washed the stickiness off my hand in the kitchen sink. He quickly returned with his hand stuck out again and a huge grin on his face. Riiigghht, like I was going to shake his hand again! I take a quick look at the palm of his hand to see more red sticky liquid. Of course, Laura is now standing in the doorway watching, waiting to see what happens, still laughing from the first handshake.
When I wouldn’t shake his hand again, Mason wiped his hand on his pants, which got a disapproving throat clearing from Laura aimed at Mason and a glare aimed at me. Apparently, Laura thinks I taught him that trick. Anyway, Mason went charging back into the living room. This time I followed him. He had been eating a red candy cane which he picked up and took a couple licks. He then spit into his hand. That’s right, spit into his hand! When he turned around and saw me standing there, he stuck out his hand wanting another handshake, giggling the whole time. Laura was in the background laughing even harder by this time. Seriously?!? Mason is spitting into his hand? Where did he pick that up? Then Laura proceeds to explain how Mason learned his latest trick.
Earlier that day, Laura had put the movie Flushed Away
Just before I got home from work, Laura had given Mason a candy cane which turned his entire mouth red. Since Laura would not shake Mason’s hand earlier that day, he was on a mission to get me to shake his hand. Well, mission accomplished… Laura watched him spit in his hand when he heard me pull into the driveway and head to the kitchen. Instead of warning me, she watched me grab his hand. The laughter tells me that she thoroughly enjoyed watching the show.
Lesson learned; if Mason ever offers to shake your hand, beware, there might be a surprise waiting.
Tags: Candy Canes, Mason
In previous years, Mason has been a little too young to fully understand Christmas. And by understand, I mean realized that nearly all the wrapped boxes under the tree are full of toys…for him. This year the connection was made between the shiny paper and the possible new stuff hidden inside. Laura and I had our first of several Christmases this weekend. However, as with all kids, patience was lacking.
I wrapped all of Mason’s presents Friday night and set them under the tree. Saturday morning, Mason woke up, got both Laura and I out of bed and headed downstairs. When he walked into the living room and saw all the presents under the tree, he instantly lit up with excitement. He got this wide eyed, open mouthed look of surprise on his face and pointed at the gifts looking at us, silently asking for permission to tear into them. Laura and I both felt a little guilty explaining to him that he had to wait until tomorrow to open them. Mason certainly did not make that feeling go away easily though. His eyes welled up with tears, his bottom lip stuck out and nearly all the life was taken out of him. He had to sit on the couch for a while lamenting over the crushing realization that he could not open his presents.
Eternity, er I mean Sunday, finally arrived. Mason again woke up and remembering that there was a stack of presents downstairs ran down to tear into them before Mom and Dad got out of bed. Well, unfortunately for him, he made so much noise rushing out of his room and scrambling down the stairs that Laura and I both woke up. Again we had to snub out Mason’s excitement by explaining that he has to wait to open his gift until everyone arrived. More tears and a small tantrum in the middle of the living room made for a noisy morning. Finally, Grandma and Grandpa arrived and boy was Mason excited to see that they were carrying even more presents. Unfortunately, he again was crushed when it was explained that he had to wait to open them also. My sister and her husband arrived bringing even more presents! One more fit from Mason as lunch was ready and we were going to eat first.
Finally, the highly anticipated event arrived. Mason was very excited to open his first one and promptly brought it over to me to get everything out of the box. Present after present got opened each toy needing played with a little bit before moving on to the next package of happiness. The streak was going great, toy, toy, toy, then disaster struck…pajamas. WHO BROUGHT THOSE!?!? was the look on Mason’s face as he cast them aside grabbing the next closest present.
All in all, Mason made out pretty good this year, even if he did get clothes. While Laura appreciated the pajamas since he needed some anyway, that was just the worst gift from Mason’s point of view. Oh well, clothes is just something that kids get and everyone got a good laugh out of it though. Now, if only Mason would let me play with one of his remote controlled cars…
