Today is the day. I feel like visiting China and sampling some of the local cuisine. T-minus one hour until my historic launch into the orient. I am so excited I can hardly contain myself, so, I think I will throw a tantrum in the middle of the living room first…
Ok, with that out of the way, it is time to head out to the transportation vehicle that will take me to my rocket. However, any good astronaut needs a side kick. The newest member to the gang, Woody from Toy Story
Huh? I must have dozed off for a little while ‘cause we’re here already. Okay Woody, time to get out. You first, I’ll give you a little push to get you started. Ooooh, watch your head on the concrete! Wow, you looked like a rag doll falling out of the car like that, should your leg be pointing in that direction? I thought toys always landed on their feet?
Anyway, let’s head into the main building complex and see which rocket I want to take. There is a nice red one over there that looks good. Seems like the company that built this rocket has gone really cheap on some of the components. The cockpit looks like a simple booster seat. It doesn’t even have any restraint devices and I’m not even sure that it’s attached to the rocket! Oh well, the engineers probaly knew what they were doing so it must be safe. Yeah, that’s what I will tell myself. But first I think Woody needs to climb into the cockpit and make sure everything is copasetic.
Now that I am sitting in the cockpit of this very large rocket, I see that they are going to serve a pre-flight snack. Great! I could go for something right now. Funny that they are serving Chinese food. Not sure that I want to eat Chinese for two meals in a row. So, I’ll throw some of it on the floor to make it look like I am enjoying the meal. I’ll even put some in my water glass just for fun.
With the meal now finished, it is time for launch…
T-minus 5…4…3…2…1…
I can feel the rocket’s engines fire up. They are shaking the whole place. I’ve got go for launch. The rocket is starting to sway back and forth now and shaking violently. UH- OH!! Huston, we have a problem! The rocket has started to tip to the left and I am not able to compensate. I have leaned all the way to the right to no avail. ABORT…repeat…ABORT. AAAHHHH!!
I find myself on the ground next to a crumpled rocket that has fallen over during take off. Fortunately, I have been thrown clear of the wreckage due to my seat in the cockpit not being securely fastened. My thanks go out to the engineers that designed this wonderful auto eject feature. Time to start crying! Of course, everyone is looking at me now, wondering how I managed to survive such a horrendous accident.
As it turns out, I had been fooled! I was not sitting on a rocket, I was sitting on a booster chair in a Chinese restaurant. I wasn’t really involved in a rocket crash, I simply tipped over my seat and got pitched out on the floor. Fortunately it wasn’t a total loss, I got a free fortune cookie and Mom and Dad got several dirty looks for allowing their child to fall off his chair.
