Mason has actually surpassed me in a skill that I never thought he would have at the age of three. Generally speaking, most people would not think of a toddler as a sharp shooter. However, Mason has become just that. Let me give you a little of the back story before explaining how Mason has earned the title of Marksman.
Before Laura and I had Mason, it was always fun to give Christmas and birthday presents that were horribly annoying to the children of family members. Hilarious at the time, but boy are we paying for that now. A few years ago, I picked out a toy called “The Stink Blaster” for a nephew. The name really speaks for itself. It literally blasted a skunky smell about twenty feet. All you had to do was put in a small cartridge, pump the gun up and BAM, put the guy across the room into a gagging fit. Of course the kids loved it ‘cause they could terrorize the parents with that horrendous smell. The best part was at the end of the day, “The Stink Blaster” went home with someone else. Something like that unfortunately is not soon forgotten by the recipients.
Years later, Laura and I had Mason. That is when the payback started. Annoying toys coming in at every birthday party, Christmas and the occasional visit to Grandma’s. We even had threats of getting him a drum set.
This year for Christmas, Mason got a Nerf gun that shoots foam rubber darts with a little suction cup on the end. Seems harmless enough, right? Well, Mason has become very adept at shooting it. Unfortunately for him, he is not quite strong enough to pull the bolt back to charge the gun. A puff of air is all that is needed to launch the dart, but it takes quite a bit to get armed. That means either Laura or I have to load the dart, arm it then hand it back to Mason. He then runs off and shoots something, usually one of the dogs. Hyde doesn’t really care, he just gets a disgruntled look on his face then goes back to sleep. Tootsie on the other hand does NOT like being shot. After getting hit, she will charge across the room, teeth bared doing her best Cujo impression and nip at Mason. This must be quite fun because guess which dog Mason likes to torture the most? A hint: it’s not the one that goes back to sleep.
After a few encounters with Tootsie, Mason decides that he needs to shoot at other things in the house. For example, there are lots of little suction cup prints on the TV screen, and the windows, and any other surface smooth enough for the dart to stick to. One evening, after perfecting his aim all day while I was at work, he took his Nerf gun into the kitchen. Shortly after, he comes back into the living room with it. I was sitting in my easy chair watching TV and didn’t really pay much attention. Pretty soon I was struck right above my right eye with a dart! Talk about a shock. Mason went screaming with laughter back into the kitchen to have Laura arm the weapon again. By this time I was out of my chair ready to take the gun away from him. He ran back in with the gun aimed at me again. I was a little more prepared this time and turned my head. The dart struck right on my ear. One would think that a dart make out of foam would not be that much of a threat, but the gun does launch the dart with quite a force. At least enough to sting when it hits your ear.
So why have I dubbed Mason a Marksman? Well, the other day, he was playing with the Nerf gun, ran into the living room, threw himself on the floor and took aim. His dart flew out of the living room into the dining room and stuck smack in the middle of the window. Very proudly, he stood up, pointed at his dart and said “dark now, shot sun”! I’m not sure I know anyone that has ever shot the sun.
